Manchester United’s Summer Window: 6 Stars In, Twenty-Nine Departures Confirmed After a Frenetic Deadline Day

Manchester United’s Summer Blockbuster: Six New Stars, Twenty-Nine Farewells, and a Deadline Day That Looked More Like a Yard Sale

Manchester United, in their infinite wisdom, decided the best way to recover from the worst Premier League campaign in their history was to set the transfer market on fire like an over-budget Hollywood reboot. New director Ruben Amorim was handed the script, and Old Trafford became the set for a frantic summer drama.

First act: the “big money arrivals.” Matheus Cunha strolled in from Wolves for £62.5 million, his fee politely labeled “cool,” as though it were pocket change instead of ransom-level spending. Hot on his heels came Bryan Mbeumo, a £71 million splurge that screams “desperate sequel energy,” complete with another £6m in potential add-ons just in case the critics weren’t already skeptical. The final star of the trilogy was Benjamin Sesko, who cost £73.7 million, proving once again that United’s approach to the striker problem is to keep throwing gold bars at it until someone scores.

Naturally, all good drama requires exits—and United’s were plentiful. The back door swung so often this summer it might as well have been fitted with revolving glass. Some left on loan, some vanished on frees, and others were shoved out with an obligatory “mutual consent” pat on the back. The deadline day addition of Belgian goalkeeper Senne Lammens (£18.2m) was framed as a “headache” for Amorim, though one suspects the real migraine comes from the sheer absurdity of this roster churn.

The incoming Player list:

• Matheus Cunha – Wolves, £62.5m (hope he’s worth a pint-sized nation’s GDP)
• Enzo Kana-Biyik – Le Havre, Free (the rare bargain in United’s luxury boutique)
• Diego Leon – Cerro Porteño, £3.3m (spare change in the chaos)
• Bryan Mbeumo – Brentford, £71m (because why not?)
• Benjamin Sesko – RB Leipzig, £73.7m (another ticket in the eternal striker lottery)
• Senne Lammens – Royal Antwerp, £18.2m (goalkeeper, headache-inducing, etc.)

And the Exits Twenty-nine of them.

Antony wandered off to Real Betis for £22m, finally ending that particular melodrama.

• Garnacho packed his bags for Chelsea in a £40m move—another future star developed for someone else’s highlight reel.
• Højlund, barely settled, shipped off to Napoli on a loan-with-obligation package worth £43.2m because why commit to long-term planning when you can do financial gymnastics instead?
• Marcus Rashford, the local hero, heads to Barcelona on a loan with a £26m option, which United fans are sure to find both insulting and depressingly on-brand.
• Meanwhile, Christian Eriksen was released into the wild, and Jonny Evans retired, because sometimes the only way out of Old Trafford is to literally quit football.

Sprinkle in a dozen loans to lower-league clubs, a few free transfers that scream “just take them, please,” and what you’re left with is not a streamlined squad, but the ashes of one.

So here we are: six shiny new faces, twenty-nine departures, and the vague sense that United aren’t building a team so much as performing some avant-garde art project about chaos and money. Will this cast deliver a triumphant redemption arc? Or will Amorim’s United flop harder than a Netflix adaptation of a beloved novel? One thing’s certain: the transfer window was, at the very least, entertaining if you enjoy your entertainment with a heavy dose of farce.

My Take:

United basically lit piles of cash on fire to buy shiny new attackers, shoved nearly thirty players out the door, and still look like a club making chaotic, knee-jerk moves rather than building a coherent squad. It’s loud, dramatic, and expensive but whether it’s actually smart is very doubtful.